Impact of active addiction on a family
When substance use escalates into dependence or addiction, alcohol and other drugs become the organizing principle of the family. Everything and everyone are disrupted
Homeostasis shifts to accommodate addiction. Life is now characterized by denial, secrecy, grief and loss, and chaos. Addiction gets in the way of family and living.
The family develops a new set of rules that guide interactions:
- Don’t talk, Don’t feel, Don’t trust, Don’t question
- Don’t have expectations
- Be in control at all times
- Don’t be self-caring
- Always be right, do the right thing
- If things don’t go as planned, blame
Roles become rigid and focused on what people do for the family, rather than who they are. Enabling emerges. Enabling refers to behaviors that shield someone from the harmful consequences of addiction.
Families are not all affected by substance abuse in the same way. Some variables that differentially affect families include:
- Drug(s) of choice
- Pattern of use
- Rate of addiction
- Age, role, and gender of user
- Age of others in the family
- Onset of use in family’s life
- Living situation
- Parent’s childhood with addiction
- Child’s temperament, personality, unique needs
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